Category Archives: Comedy

Hitman Horticulturists

Posted on September 7, 2017 by The Malt House

Ernst Stavro Blofeld, master criminal, sat at the centre of the massive operations room of the SPecial Executive for Counter-intelligence, Terrorism, Revenge and Extortion, or “SPECTRE” for short. Around him, the inside of the domed roof showed a map of the … Continue reading →

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Geometry of Life

Posted on August 9, 2017 by The Malt House

Matthew was a bit of a square but he was besotted with Crystal and all her facets. She was a true diamond. Bright and beautiful, she was always straight with him. They’d met at a Circus – she was a … Continue reading →

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One For The Rodeo

Posted on July 6, 2017 by The Malt House

Mike climbed the steps and stood by the doorway, waiting for passengers in front to take their seats. Being thrifty he’d always been careful choosing airlines but this was his first time flying lo-cost Wild West. First impressions were very … Continue reading →

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Manners?

Posted on June 26, 2017 by The Malt House

Wasim Wotdunnit entered the airport and strode purposefully to the check-in desk. He placed his case onto the conveyor belt and set his back pack down on the floor by his feet. Handing over the first class ticket, and his … Continue reading →

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Hi Honey I’m Home!

Posted on June 25, 2017 by The Malt House

Bill sat at his desk, at the window which over-looked the garden, and pondered. His mind wandered as he tried to think of something to write about for his homework. Master Lockton, his tutor, was a strict old bird, and … Continue reading →

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Vicious Circle

Posted on June 22, 2017 by The Malt House

Matt was a bit of a square but he was besotted with Crystal and all her facets. She was a true diamond. Bright and beautiful, she was always straight with him. They’d met at a Circus – she was a … Continue reading →

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Baby Shower

Posted on June 20, 2017 by The Malt House

“Well Marge, what a lovely couple!”, Ken pronounced as they drove off the drive. “You really think so?” was the sub-zero response. Ken sighed. The day had started so well… Marge was bubbling with excitement; they were driving to see … Continue reading →

Posted in Comedy, Conflict, Family, Lessons in Life, Short Story, The Unexpected | 1 Comment

Stone In Love With You

Posted on June 17, 2017 by The Malt House

The four gargoyles sat immutable on the north side of the church roof and stared at the churchyard below. Inside, the churchgoers were celebrating their Harvest Festival, children processing up to the alter rail and depositing their tins of just-in-date … Continue reading →

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Dream Date

Posted on June 16, 2017 by The Malt House

The working men’s club reeked of stale beer and cigarettes. Its nicotine-stained walls had witnessed many decades of working-class chatter; the rough parquet floor scuffed by hob-nailed boots, Nike Air and everything in between. At the bar Keith was bored; … Continue reading →

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Driving Miss Daisy

Posted on June 14, 2017 by The Malt House

Miss Daisy sat in the powerful sports car and revved the engine. Somewhat surprised at her vigour and obvious feistiness, Kevin the car salesman smiled at her. “OK Mrs. Daisy! Let’s burn rubber!” “Excuse me?” “Let’s burn rubber Mrs. Daisy. … Continue reading →

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